Why are you so serious? It’s just a joke! ” You can’t even stand a little bit of criticism anymore. What is wrong with you? “Are you sure you remember that right? I don’t think it happened that way.” “You are overthinking everything. Chill, man, it’s not a big deal.” You are just imagining things. I didn’t say so.” “You look so different these days; are you sure you’re okay?”. “I was only teasing you; why do you always see it that way?
Does any of these sound familiar? Have you ever felt confused, doubted yourself, or questioned your feelings as a result of similar comments from your partner? If so, you might be experiencing gaslighting in your relationship. Such an emotional manipulation often begins with innocent statements and later changes the pattern which will affect your confidence and perception of reality.
Gaslighting can affect your mental health, self-esteem, and your relationship. Identifying this gaslighting is essential to save your life and stay away from damaging effects. This blog tries to explain what gaslighting is, its different forms, and a few steps to get out of it.
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is the psychological manipulation of making someone doubt their feelings, memories, or sense of events occurring to the extent that the manipulator gains power or control over that person. This term was coined from a movie called Gaslight, released in 1944, whereby a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she has gone mad by turning down the gaslights in their apartment and denying its change when she notices it.
Often in relationships, gaslighting may appear in different ways to make the victim doubt their thoughts or memories. Over time, it gradually breaks your confidence.
Know about Gaslighting
Not every unkind word or every disagreement is gaslighting, but if you find yourself often manipulated and emotionally invalidated and targeted, then it is the sign. Gas lighting can be in several styles. It can be a denial of reality, confusing your emotions, shifting blame, or using “Jokes” to criticise. If these behaviours recur and make you question your sanity or worthiness, then it is a serious sign of gaslighting.
Types of Gaslighting
Gaslighting can occur in various manners according to the relationship’s dynamics:
- Emotional Gaslighting: This kind of behaviour is invalidating and dismissing your emotions, putting you down at the feeling point that your emotions have no value or are irrational.
- Heinous Denial: The gaslighter flat-out denies things that happened or were said, so you doubt your memory.
- Labelling: The gaslighter projects onto you behaviours or feelings they are experiencing themselves, like labelling you as controlling when they are the ones who are controlling.
- Minimizing: They minimize what you are saying, so you feel like you are exaggerating or being overly dramatic.
How to End Gaslighting
1. Recognizing the Signs: The first thing you need to do is recognize that you might be being gaslit. Pay attention to how certain interactions are making you feel in your head, confused, invalidated, or overly dependent on your partner.
2. Believe Your Instincts: When something feels wrong in your relationship, believe your instincts. This is because gaslighting often thrives because the victim begins to doubt their perception.
3. Record Events :Keep a journal or record conversations to validate your experiences. This helps you confirm what happened and fight manipulation.
4. Seek Support: Discuss your experiences with a trusted therapist from Best Individual Counselling in Kerala. They can see things that you cannot. They can identify your problems and help you in getting out of it.
5. Set Boundaries: Consequently, make it known that such behaviour is not acceptable. If the gaslighter’s behaviour persists, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.
6. Think About Professional Help: Sometimes, through counselling or therapy, you may gain some of those lost skills, rebuild your confidence, and work through your emotions. Choose the Best Online counselling in Malayalam, so that you can deliver your emotions in your mother tongue.
Gaslighting can damage you completely. So it is always better to recognize it at the beginning. A healthy relationship is one where both have mutual respect, trust, and validation of manipulation or control. Always support your partner, and never confuse them!
